Last time, I think I wrote about my lack of motivation, but its slowly coming back now. I'm sure this won't be the last time I lose it, but I'll take the win when I can.
So, what's been going on.
Let me try again. There is alot of change that is going now, and a lot that is making me reassess, reevaluate myself.
That image that says something along the lines of .. if you don't know, educate yourself. That ignorance is inherently a component of the problem. That not knowing, is just an indication of the privilege that you live under.
I am all those things. As an Asian Australian, I can admit that I have rarely been subjected to the perils of racism, excluding of course the recent coronavirus thing, where for the first time, I felt it- some stares, some glances, all judgement.
As a female, I experience injustice in ways I probably don't realise. The way patients stare at me when they make an inappropriate comment, the way men touch you in clubs, like your body is public property. I get it, but at the same time I don't. I have never had to fear for my life, fear that I will be racially profiled and killed for it. So of course, I don't understand the anger, how can I?
But I sympathise and empathise. At first, I thought that maybe the approach was wrong. That there was a better way to express the violence, the anger, the injustice. Trying to educate myself, I evaluated all the feelings I went through. At first, it was curiosity. And then I moved into a denial. My opinion of 'a better way', shot down rapidly by the first video explaining why there was no better way- sure everyone is entitled to their opinion, and we can agree to disagree. I don't have a point to prove, I'm entitled to an opinion, I don't want to be made to feel bad because of this opinion I have.
But that was all part of the problem. Refusing to listen, because I was afraid to admit I was wrong. That as much as I value people being open to opinions, yet myself, finding it difficult to concede 'defeat'.
Its interesting, I can see the problem now, and the power of social media. But I still do not want to actively involve my platforms. I just want to sit back and watch from afar, does that really make me such a terrible person?